Ten of swords

Neha, Neha, Beccy and I (3 Neha's - I find it hard to believe sometimes) went to Rouge. It was SO much fun. I'm assuming Neha will send me pics sometime soon (yes Bulky, right Bulky?) and so that will be that. I really wish Ish and Jody and Aurelie could have been here, it would have been wonderful - oh well, a week to London and then Jodes, sometime very soon, I think. I still can't believe I am 23. Time for the walking chair that plays "She's a Lady" … I loved the card Neha - it was so damn cute. Oh! Collide was the only thing that came to mind - I should have asked for something more profound I am sure, love you guys!

A nihilist is a man who judges of the world as it is that it ought not to be, and of the world as it ought to be that it does not exist. According to this view, our existence (action, suffering, willing, feeling) has no meaning: the pathos of 'in vain' is the nihilists' pathos—at the same time, as pathos, an inconsistency on the part of the nihilists.

— Friedrich Nietzsche

 (I think this pretty much sums us up - its one of my fav pics love you babe)

Very sweet … my colleagues had a cake-cutting thing to usher in the (dark) years of my life. It was mint cake - no food color (yay) and it made me realize I must be careful with sweets. I'm at the age where I need to care for my body. Oh sweet youth.  

I'm going to be MIDDLE AGED (this is based on the assumption that with the current lifestyle we all lead, none of us are going to make it past 50 anyways.) I am nearly in my mid-20's. WHEN did this happen. I feel an impending mid-life crisis on the horizon. The last time I checked, we were all 17 - relatively guileless, and had zero worries. No Aurelie - your conversion was NOT a crisis. It was shocking. Not a crisis. Ok - so I thought I would do a wishlist of the 5 things I want most in the world - feel free to oblige.

 5. A large, comfy jet. With my name in pink diamonds on the side. So I can fly to LA (Jody, Brandon), London (Ish, Aurelie), India (famliy, Jai, Rahul, Sam) and the like WHENEVER I wanted. I still wouldn't go to Bangkok though.

4. An original copy of Neruda's "20 love songs and a song of despair." In his handwriting. Addressed to me.

3. Sunglasses that suit me. Shut up Neha.

2. Many, many, many tattoos. I tried to convince Neha to get me one as a present - she balked. Traitor.

1. A husky. Named Hector. With blue eyes (pleasssssssseeeeeeeeeeee)

 Yesh. Ok - miss you guys, muah.

Just very randomly - I was re-reading the paper Brandon is writing on gender dysphoria (which is pretty much brilliant, hate to admit it - especially since it came from the mind of someone who thought Nookie is "the most AWESOME song of the century - we need to work through that B). He's using some of the more main-stream transgendered case-studies - Brandon Teena (of Boys Don't Cry fame) and Cam Lyman (millionaire transvestite who was murdered in his 50's - killer still unknown). But he also mentioned a few people who I had never heard of. Billy Tipton was a jazz musician - who had lived as man since the age of 19. It was only when he was discovered dead at his apartment that people realized that he was actually a fully functional 70 year old woman. He had been married a number of times, adopted kids - apparently even his wives didn't know he was a woman. Its so fascinating - that so much of what we perceive as normal may be a completely human construct. Gender and sexual orientation may not be as black and white as we want it to be. I recently read an article that said that, as we evolve, we will become more prone to bisexuality and androgyny … gender lines will smudge more and more. What will it mean for a world where patriarchy is as ingrained as the notion of benvolent, unbiased democracy being the accepted norm? Politics aside - I think its just something to think about it terms of how we relate to one another, how we fan our biases - how we judge things that seem abnormal to us. Its strange that normal, in most cases, may be the minority.

So I'm reading this wonderful book called "The Great Tranformations" - have already recommended it to Isha and Audrey. It talks about how all the major religious ideas that were the foundation for all the major religions in the world were born between 800 - 300 BCE all over the world. Is interesting. And it talks about the Aryan migration to India - which is also interesting. I would love to get Jody, Ish and Neha (shah AND mathur) in a room and talk about what we define religion to be. I can actually predict what everyone will say, but it would still be interesting. Interesting seems to be the word of the day. I want stories Jodes  So the plan for London seems to be set. Ish will get me (please please please please) … and Aurelie will be coming down on the 6th. Amalan should be there … and I will see Bahar again. I can't wait for the flight - I will get to read for what - 10 hours. Its either going to be "The End of Faith" or "The Belljar" depending on how depressed I want to be when I land in London.  I cannot BELIEVE Neha and Neha are going to pay money to watch Coldplay in concert.  I am still waiting for stories Jody …  Has anyone else watched the movie Raising Cain?

Jody is one of my favourite people of all time. She was like a mom to me in LA (actually - thats pretty much what she called herself - my OTHER mom). I don't think I've ever met someone who was so much her own person. And I'll never forget the things she has done. Like climbing up a hill to BANG on my bedroom window because I had fallen asleep when we were supposed to meet for lunch. I think she had a minor coronary everytime I went to visit Nik - because she wouldn't be able to get in touch with me. She JUST graduated - and i cannot wait for her to come home. Jodes - I promise I wont wear blue eyeliner, I wont make fun of Wally, I wont eat the cookies that you make SPECIFICALLY for "anyone but me" (I see crumbs on your mouth, do you think I'm an idiot), I wont date anyone you disapprove of (so asexuality is the the path of redemption), I will accept the fact that you are generally right about most things (no, not ALL - thats called omnipotence) and, most importantly - I'll let you pass random, aggressive comments at whoever you want (what the HELL are you looking at - uh, Jodes, i KNOW them, Maybe cos it does tricks, does she LOOK 11 and my personal favourite - Hello Ugly). I got my initial body art done with you, I've been thru - what, 2 break ups? And I survived the trip snowboarding - (Neha, just STAND there, we will PUSH you) - which was worth it. I love you loads, and I cannot wait TO SEE YOU. Congrats on graduation babe - xxx